Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
