Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
