You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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