i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
