Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize