She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
