whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
