Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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