For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
