Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
