I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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