I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
