I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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