my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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