i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
