Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize