that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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