At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My penis needs a shock collar
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
