Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have demons in me.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize