Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
