Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Did I show you my penis last night?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
