Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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