wanna go halves on a baby?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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