Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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