it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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