you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
