Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
