sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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