Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize