I feel like abortions should bother me more
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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