She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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