East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
