Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
