my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
