Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Houston, we have a blender
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
