girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i think im in europe. pls send help
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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