you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
