Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
