You work out of a Hotel?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize