I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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