You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
