idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
