Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize