the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
