margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
