we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
