Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize