I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
