Even water is tasting like jack daniels
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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