How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
