an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
