Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
