Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
