You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
