Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just google imaged poop.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize