Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
