just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
