Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize